Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have feelings that need drinking.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
