so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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