we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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