I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
