i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
