I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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