I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
