I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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