Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
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