She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
