Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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