In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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