So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
