im drinking this country out of the recession.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
