thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
