So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
