Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
