I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My bed smells like the plague
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
