Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
