There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
