Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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