This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
