My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
