he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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