Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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