SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is Oprah even human
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
