Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
