You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
