I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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