Plan B is the new Plan A
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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