I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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