After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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