That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
