I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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