My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
