ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
