If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
