Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
