tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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