Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
