well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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