I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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