Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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