Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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