im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
