The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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