North Korea, Best Korea!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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