were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
