What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
