is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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