Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
